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After all, it’s likely that “being yourself” hasn’t exactly gotten you to where you want to be. When we look at people who have something we want – whether it be material success, a skill or talent or even just a hot girlfriend – it’s only natural to try to be more like them.

The more desperate you are to get what you want, whether it be sex or a relationship, the more likely it will slip through your fingers.

You’re not getting any responses from your online dating profile. Over the years I’ve seen these issues crop up again and again; I’ve seen them in friends, in the letters I’ve gotten as Dr.

and until I took the time to recognize this and actually address these issues, I was going to get better.

Similarly, it’s inadvisable for an introverted person to try to force themselves to act like an extrovert, especially in the dating scene.

It’s incongruent with who they are; they’re quite literally pretending to be someone they’re not in hopes of better results.

Nowhere was this more apparent than in the early days of the Pick Up community, when people assumed that one of the secrets of success with meeting women is to “peacock”; that is, dress up in exotic or even outlandish ways in order to get attention.

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